Small Business Communications Strategist

I arrived in Morocco worried about getting sick. Spoiler alert: I got sick. It was umm…not a good time in my life. That’s all you need to know because I’m dignified and I’m Black and I’m proud. I presume the little lovely tap water-based sauce on the carrots in my “salad” was the culprit. Guess what? I don’t even eat carrots at home. I hate carrots. Who eats carrots? Losers, that’s who. Anyway, I won’t be eating them again. Not here. Naaaah, son. I’m not gonna be able to do it.

I asked for a salad and this is what I got. It was tasty, but those carrots were prepared by Satan.

OMG, my stomach just rumbled the same way it rumbled when I was about to die after eating those carrots. OMG. OMG. OMG. Oh, false alarm. Anyway, since I’m a little scared to eat some things, I’ve mostly stuck to eating the same items over and over. At the apartment, I enjoy cereal, cereal, cereal, probiotics, vitamin D, cereal, cereal and more cereal.

One must drink the bottled water or endure a horrendous death by bubble guts.

At the office, a gentleman usually gets lunch for us. I normally get tuna with cheese and peppers along with a side of fries. I don’t like to veer from my normal meal request much with him because…

Nikki don't eat "something like a chicken." Nope. — Nikki don’t eat “something like a chicken.” Nope.

Tuna with peppers (fiflah is peppers in Durija) and fries. It probably would’ve been more ladylike had I not taken a bite before taking the picture.

The first time I cooked a meal on my “make believe” cooking device at the apartment, I was so proud of myself. I didn’t have many seasonings so I did the best I could. I think I made prison food. I’ve seen enough documentaries to be sure I made a slightly fancier version of what prisoners make in their cells. Let he or she who is a former (or current) inmate step forward to battle me.

Ingredients. The salt looks like a cleaning product. I had to taste it to make sure it was salt. I miss my Trader Joes's pink Himilyan salt. — The salt (white and blue package) looks like a cleaning product. I had to taste it to make sure it was salt. I miss my Trader Joe’s pink Himalayan salt.

The gas tank on the side must be turned on to bring forth fire. One day, I forgot to close the valve. I had to open the windows and the doors with the quickness. — The blue gas tank must be turned on to bring forth fire. One day, I forgot to close the valve. I had to open the windows and the doors with the quickness.

So..what is that middle eye for?

le peez de resi stahnz (Did I tell you guys that I've been learning a little French too?) — Le peez dey resi stahnz (Oh, you didn’t know I speak French? Mm hmm. Yup.)

This hot sauce is the real deal. My inner spirit was on fiyaaaaaaaaaah.

The second time I made it with … wait for it… chicken patties. When you know better, you do better. — The second time I made this dish with … wait for it… little pieces of chicken patties. When you know better, you do better.

Note: Be ye not fooled by my cooking restrictions. I’m a master pretend vegan chef back home. Check out my Instagram HERE and HERE.

Let’s Talk About Food